ONW: Attack Of The Columbus Pissing Bandit!

On Wednesday, September 12th, Northeast Columbus resident Sandra Barber called police to report that someone had left a bottle filled with urine in her mailbox. And while it was the first time she’s found a bottle of urine in her mailbox, the event marked the 7th time bottles of urine had been left on her property. Police arrived, but said they were powerless to do anything unless the Pissing Bandit was caught “in the act”. In the meantime, Barber said she was going to keep the urine-filled bottles “as evidence.”

Then, a mere 4 days after the initial story ran, the Pissing Bandit was at it again! Wasting no time, WSYX / ABC 6 sent its crack team of reporters into action to get to the bottom of this. In their report, it’s clear that they left so stone unturned in their attempt to bring the Pissing Bandit to justice. See for yourself:

The segment, which aired on September 17th, began with an overhead view of the area, supplied by Bing, so that concerned citizens everywhere could be on alert.

The map was followed quickly by an establishing shot of a closeup on a bottle of bubble bath. Plumeria-scented bubble bath, to be exact. Apparently, this innocent-looking bottle was used as the delivery system for the Pissing Bandit’s latest caper.

From this point on, the entire segment goes haywire. For immediately after we get a flash of the bubble bath bottle, viewers are treated to the following extreme (and completely unnecessary) closeup of the contents of the bottle, which proves two things about the Pissing Bandit:

  1. the appearance of so many bubbles establishes that the Pissing Bandit doesn’t rinse the bottle out before using it, and
  2. based on the color of the bottle’s contents, the Pissing Bandit clearly needs to drink more water…and perhaps take a multi-vitamin.

As the segment continues, reporter Tara Morgan shows that she’ll stop at nothing in her search for the ever-elusive Pissing Bandit, going so far as to whip out the ol’ pen and paper to interview neighbor Katherine Denson–a woman who, according to legend, uses her front door to perform puppet shows for the local children.

–Via WSYX / ABC 6 

 Alas, despite their best efforts, the Pissing Bandit eluded capture. And so the segment ended with the haunting image of Sandra Barber scooping up the offending bottle of bubbly urine and adding it to her ever-growing collection of “evidence”, along with the remnants of her weeding and blobs of very sugary icing from a cake.

Make no mistake: I will be following this case closely and will pass along any developments as soon as I get them!

Read the story and watch the video for yourself here on WSYX / ABC 6.

The original story from September 13th can be found here.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s