Since moving here in 1999, I’ve learned a couple of unique dos and don’ts when it comes to living in the Buckeye State. For one, I should never wear anything blue and yellow (“maize” is so subjective) out in public. Also, if I’m ever driving in my car and it starts to snow, I must either slow down to 4 MPH or else speed up to 83 MPH.
Now, it would appear that I need to add something new to my unofficial list of proper Buckeye Protocol: Never, under any circumstances, eat all of an Ohio woman’s salsa.
A 61-year-old Akron man apparently never got the memo, though, because that’s the heinous crime he’s accused of committing earlier this week.
According to Cleveland.com, the man (Cleveland.com is apparently so disgusted with this guy that they refuse to name him and just repeatedly refer to him as “the man”) was sitting in his apartment, watching TV and nomming on some chips and salsa, when his girlfriend, 50-year-old Phyllis D. Jefferson, took offense to his bogarting the condiment-like object.
When the man refused to stop eating the salsa, Jefferson stabbed him in the pelvis with a pen, knocked over the TV, and then stabbed the man with a “small kitchen knife” before fleeing the scene. She was apprehended a short time later on Interstate 77.
Jefferson has been charged with felonious assault and misdemeanor damaging. The whereabouts of the nacho chips are unknown at this time.
You can read the full article from Cleveland.com here.
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