I’ve been spending a great deal of time during this whole global pandemic thing creating my Paranormal Bucket List. You know, a list of all the places I want to visit and things I want to do once that New Normal I’ve been hearing so much about finally makes its way to Ohio. And one of the things that has made its way to the top of my list is to be able to study an honest-to-goodness haunted object.
From my perspective, while haunted objects were always sort of a “thing,” they didn’t become all that popular until about 10 years ago. And now, they are supposedly everywhere. Heck, there are even “haunted museums” that claim to hold dozens, if not hundreds, of objects that walk, talk, and generally wreak havoc. It’s nearly impossible to turn on any paranormal show on the Travel Channel or Destination America and not find at least one reference to a haunted object.
And truth be told, I’ve acquired more than a few haunted objects over the years. I’ve studied them, too. But there was not a single instance where any of those objects did…anything. And some of them have been in my collection for over 20 years. Now, that’s not to say these objects aren’t haunted.
Maybe the ghosts just didn’t like me enough to want to hang around the objects once they came home with me. And they have provided me with incredible insights, such as everyone who gave me a haunted object claimed the ghostly activity stopped once the object left their residence. So there’s something to be said for the possible psychological aspects of removing an object that is perceived to be haunted from someone’s home (and life). But where is the research regarding haunted objects themselves?
You would think that with so many of them floating around (sorry, couldn’t resist) out there, there would be plenty of research. Nope. In fact, there is very little, which, for me, raises serious doubts to the validity of the stories surrounding these objects. True, you can find all sorts of videos where an object appears to move on its own (and some websites even allow visitors to watch live video feeds of haunted objects), but why isn’t anyone digging deeper? Why does it appear that no one is attempting to collect empirical data on these objects? Not even a simple “this is the date and time when the object moved”? I would hazard a guess that it’s because, despite what these ghost shows want you to believe, ghosts and haunted objects do not perform on command. So if you’re going to be waiting for a haunted object to do anything, chances are there’s going to be a lot of down time. But I’m willing to put in the time if anyone out there is willing to help: I want to borrow your haunted item.
What I am looking for is a bona fide haunted object. I will borrow it for as long as you are comfortable with me having it—and I will sign paperwork saying I will return it undamaged to you at the appointed time.
Once I get it home, I will put it under 24/7 observation using IR cameras, multiple audio devices, motion-triggered still cameras, and a variety of handheld devices. I will NOT take samples from the item or in any way change its shape or form.
You will also receive any and all evidence I manage to obtain. And if nothing happens, no worries. As I said, just because nothing ghostly happens in my house, that doesn’t mean it’s not haunted.
Finally, all of this will be conducted with the highest regard to confidentiality. So no one will even know of our little experiment unless you decide to tell people.
Interested? Then drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line “Haunted Object” and I’ll get the ball rolling on this end.